Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
No...this little piggys going to the bar
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
I'm really busy with my period
Randomize
