I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
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