that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
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