Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
I have straight up perfected the art of amazing manicures with shaky-as-fuck adderall hands. Also, I'm way too proud of this.
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
Randomize
