I have demons in me.
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
Randomize
