Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
Randomize
