The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
Randomize