she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
He wouldn't let me put a red handprint on his face or scream to him everytime he walked away.
Why did you want to do any of that?
If someones last name is Wilson, you are obligated to pretend that you are Tom Hanks and they are a Volleyball and quote the movie when you speak to them.
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
Randomize
