Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
When theres a zombie apocalypse, i will be the only fat survivor. I ate chef boyardi ravioli with part of a pen for a fork
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
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