my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
my god I love twenty year old dicks
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
Randomize
