I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
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