Why is it that every time I type the word "give" my phone spells out HIV?! You know how many people i've told I want to HIV them something!
AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
Randomize
