We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
composition of my stomach right now: 60% C8H10N4O2 * H2O (coffee), 20% CaCO3 (pepto bismol/tums), 10% HCl (stomach acid), 5% fried rice, 5% residual adderall. i can do that by percent mass too. fuck you finals.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
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