Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
And the cops told us we were all naked.
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
Drunk is not a location!
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Randomize
