You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
when I die covered in cocaine, hookers, and tequila at 73 years old just remember that I once had a tweet with that many retweets
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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