remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
Randomize
