Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
He turned down a handjob. A HANDJOB. I know I'm no Jessica Simpson, but...
Actually, she's fat now, so...
Fuck. I AM Jessica Simpson.
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
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