i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
Randomize
