sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
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You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
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Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
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