I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
I got Pilsbury cinnamon rolls for us to have tomorrow, but I don't have the willpower to leave them in my fridge overnight, so I am eating them all and getting us more in the morning
I love you more by the minute
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
Randomize
