We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
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