I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
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