I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize
