If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
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