she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
Randomize
