a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
Randomize
