ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
the cashier at riteaid just made the sign of the cross before he rang up my pregnancy test. now i know god is on my side
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
