Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
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