I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
Randomize
