Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
Randomize
