bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize
