You were right. It hurts to walk today.
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
The Russian stripper asked if I like foreign girls. I told her I absolutely fucking hate accents. Most awkward 7 minutes ever
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
Randomize