how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
