If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
Randomize
