Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
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