is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
Found half of a five day old piece of pizza behind my dresser. Apparently it was drunkenly set there and got knocked down. It was such a happy reminder of last weekend.
I found a cheeseburger next to my tub once. It's there to shame you, but it always just makes me feel more awesome.
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
Can you repeat that, but with context?
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
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