It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
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