he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
He told me I look like a librarian today. I hope that means he has a librarian fetish or something
Disregard. He says he said I look "agrarian" today and just proceeded to compare me to Mumford and Sons. Fuck it, I'm going home and drinking
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Randomize
