Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
When you text me tomorrow to remind me to mail your parking pass, also remind me to make sure i did NOT pack my vibrator for this family vacation
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
Randomize
