who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
there is glitter all over my balls
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
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