There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
Randomize
