Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
Randomize
