It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
Randomize