You're completely useless in the revolution.
He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
Randomize
