All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
Randomize
