we have officially mastered the walk of shame
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
Btw, remind me to tell you about how I had to cancel my crazy wild sex plans with Will b/c my roommate came back from his trip after a day b/c Canada wouldn't let him in. Fucking cockblock.
Actually that's the whole story. You don't have to remind me.
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
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