So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
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