You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
Randomize
