Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
Randomize
