last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
Randomize
