all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
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