Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
Randomize
