just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
You're wonderful. How are you always such a good friend?
50% genetics, 50% driven by a desire for people to drunkenly eat donuts at my funeral and then have fantastic cry-sex afterward.
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
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