I felt like helen keller
But she could have totally found that shit before me
Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
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