did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
My legs feel like baby dolphins
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
Randomize
