"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
i woke up today to a handjob from this really fat girl that keeps calling me michael phelps
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
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