He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
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