the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
Randomize
