kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
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