Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
Randomize