Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
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