I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize
