I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
Fuck me I smell like cheese
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
Randomize
