I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
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