so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
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